The Story
Celeste Ng’s debut novel begins with a death – that of 16 year old Lydia Lee, daughter of Chinese-American James and all-American Marilyn. But is it suicide, murder or a simple accident? Ng takes us on a multi-generational exhumation of the dead girl’s family history before revealing the answer.
Prior to Lydia’s death in 1977, the family lives a superficially ordinary, humdrum existence in middle America. But beneath the surface, dissatisfaction bubbles, fueled by James’s insecurity in his Chinese origins and Marilyn’s frustration at abandoning her lofty ambitions.
The racial divide does not stop James and Marilyn from being genuinely happy at first, although James’s cultural inferiority complex included an element of incredulity that a woman such as Marilyn could be interested in him. Marilyn’s mother, however, is appalled at her daughter’s choice of husband, so race insinuates itself into the relationship from the beginning.
Despite the alienation of Marilyn’s mother, she and James look set for happiness and glittering prizes – he as lecturer at Harvard and she destined for great things in medicine. Things sour somewhat when first James fails to land the expected lectureship and Marilyn falls pregnant and abandons her studies. Instead of the kudos of Harvard, James has to accept a job at an undistinguished Ohio college and so a life of boring suburbia beckons.
Things do not go off the rails immediately – Nathan is born and then two years later Lydia arrives. But their lives are circumscribed by their isolated existence in a small town with few, if any, friends. James continues to struggle with his racial identity : having been embarrassed by his blue-collar Chinese parentage as a child, he effectively disowned his ancestry after their deaths. He also takes every casual racial slight to heart and cannot integrate successfully into American life. Meanwhile Marilyn becomes increasingly frustrated with her role as housewife – a role she swore never to embrace having seen it so suffocatingly enacted by her mother. This frustration leads to the family’s first major crisis when Marilyn abandons her family without warning to resume her studies.
Marilyn’s disappearance throws James insecurities into sharp focus – why did he think she could ever have loved a man like him. The children are devastated but James barely notices. Marilyn struggles with her decision but doesn’t give way until she discovers that she is pregnant for the third time. Ambition thwarted once again, she returns home.
Although the family are back together, this seismic event brings psychological devastation in its wake. Lydia is paralysed with fear that her mother might leave again and vows to do anything to avoid it. Marilyn, meanwhile, becomes fixated with the idea that Lydia will be the glittering academic success that she should have been…and so the family’s ambitions come to rest on Lydia’s narrow shoulders. The other children are increasingly disregarded as Marilyn’s attention is consumed by Lydia’s education.
James notices this but says nothing for a long time. His inferiority complex is reinforced when he takes Nathan out into the world. History repeats itself as Nathan, in his turn, endures the casual cruelty of other children and comes to understand that he is, somehow, different. Rather than stand up for his son, James cringes in shame – as memories of his own childhood experiences painfully resurface. Nathan, for his part, deals with his social exclusion by reaching for the stars..literally – astronomy becomes his favourite hobby. He will, in time join the space program which so enthrals him.
As Lydia grows through her teens the relentless pressure of Marilyn’s ambitions become progressively insupportable. Lydia is not the genius of Marilyn’s imagination. She begins to crumble as exam results decline but Marilyn is determined that it is only a case of more work, more effort. Lydia comes to understand that she has made a prison for herself by her determination never to give her mother any grounds to leave her again.
Whilst struggling to fulfil her mother’s dreams, Lydia has been living a bigger lie. Friendless at school, despite her more American appearance, she spends her evenings talking into a dead telephone line. Like two wise monkeys, neither parent ever suspects – although the children do. Little Hannah, especially, whose mind is too young to understand, simply knows it in her bones.
Some sort of disaster is inevitable as panic-stricken Lydia approaches critical exams that she cannot pass. She seeks relief from the familial pressure-cooker by hanging out with Jack, cool all-American teen and reputed school Lothario. But Jack has an incendiary secret of his own and Lydia’s attempted act of rebellion fails like everything else.
Defeated on all sides, Lydia resolves to end the years of pretence and start life anew – based on her wishes, her desires. But this decision seems to require a symbolic initiation. Lydia sneaks out late one night, seen only by little Hannah, and heads to the town lake where the children had spent their summers. It was by this lake years before that she had taken that fateful decision to be her mother’s surrogate. That time she had been pushed into the lake by Nathan and some part of her wanted to sink (she never learned to swim) to escape the years of strife that she knew were to come. Nathan had rescued her on that occasion, but now she is alone.
Lydia rows the solitary row-boat into the middle of the lake. Then, in the most mystical and ambiguous scene in the book, she steps into the water, apparently determined to make the short swim to the pier and begin life anew…
Lydia’s disappearance blows the lid off the pressure cooker of the Lee family’s suppressed resentments. James accuses Marilyn of browbeating her daughter into misery. She accuses James of being spineless and subservient in the face of her daughters possible abduction. James reacts by running off with his teaching assistant, Nathan tries to drown his sorrows in whisky. He also confronts Jack, who he is sure has a hand in Lydia’s disappearance – but finally understands that Jack’s is more interested in him than in his sister.
In the final chapter, with Lydia dead and buried, the family begin a gradual process of reconciliation. Things long unsaid are finally acknowledged. James and Marilyn finally notice their remaining children. The tragedy of Lydia will stay with them all till the end of their days but life will get better. Somehow Lydia’s sacrifice has redeemed the family and life, however different, can begin again.
What did it all Mean ?
The book starts with a tragic, unexplained death. How to account for this tragedy ? – that is the central preoccupation of the story. The search for an explanation takes us into many difficult areas : racism, sexism, alienation, social isolation, frustrated dreams and living vicariously through your children, for starters.
Post-war America itself seems to be in the dock. This is a nation of casual racism and sexism where women and minority groups are marginalised by the prevailing WASP culture. James Lee spends a lifetime trying to ‘fit in’ but becomes progressively embittered at his inability to do so. Marilyn resents a male-dominated culture which, at least in part, frustrated her ambition to become a doctor. Habitual racial slights have a particularly corrosive effect on James who is forever on guard for the next insult. History repeats itself as Nathan in his turn becomes the butt of children’s pranks.
James and Marilyn respond to their life of disappointments by withdrawal, in effect ostracizing themselves from society. The children inherit this siege mentality, clinging to each other out there in the big bad world. Even Marilyn’s desertion of the family could be viewed as a reaction to a claustrophobic society that had frustrated her dreams.
Ng uses the phrase, known to every chemistry student, ‘to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’, more than once in the book. Can the determinism implied in this phrase be applied to people as well as chemicals? Lydia’s reaction to her mother’s flight is to cling ever tighter by agreeing to her every wish. But the deceit at the heart of Lydia’s conformity can only end badly. The catalyst – an exam she cannot pass – leads Lydia inexorably to her fate on the lake. QED ?
Well, not quite. Whilst America undoubtedly had many faults it did not push Lydia off the rowboat. And human beings are more than their chemical constituents. James, for example had choices in the face of the racism he experienced. It was his choice to renounce his ancestry, to try to become more American than the Americans.
It is generally unfair to criticise writers for what their books are not about. But there is a glaring hole at the centre of this story. The Lee family lived through a tumultuous era in American history. In 1955 whilst James was silently suffering the barbs of his white fellow-students, Rosa Parks defied the establishment by refusing to give up her seat to a white passenger in Montgomery, Alabama. In 1968 when James was cringing at the racism meted out to his son, Martin Luther King was shot dead for demanding equality for all American citizens. In short, the civil rights movement was in full swing and people were dying for their belief in equality. The point is that even in the face of the worst oppression people have choices – you can fight, you don’t have to submit. But this does not seem to have occurred to James, and it is not mentioned anywhere in the book.
Marilyn too had choices. As an attractive, brilliant young woman she exerted her independence by marrying someone from an ethnic minority in the face of her mother’s bigotry. Yet when James, who would hardly say boo to a goose, insists that she abandon her hopes of becoming a doctor she acquiesces without a fight. Thus the Lee’s must surely accept some degree of responsibility for their predicament.
Neither can Marilyn’s ferocious ambition for her daughter be laid at society’s feet. However unlikely Marilyn’s inability to understand her daughter; or her disregard for the other children – only she can be held accountable for the path she set Lydia upon. Or, perhaps James can share the guilt, as he partially understood but said nothing until it was too late.
Nor did Lydia have to cleave so tightly to her mother’s wishes. She could, instead have told her mother how she really felt. So, at every stage there were choices: this was not chain reaction with a pre-determined outcome. What was missing was honesty, candour…the courage to say what you really feel and to deal with the consequences. ‘To thine own self be true’, as boring old Polonius put in Hamlet.
The one character in the book who seems to live by this principle is Jack. Gay at a time when homosexuality could still lead to imprisonment over much of the US, he seems the person most at ease with himself in the book. Yes he is scared that Lydia might reveal his secret when he finally tells her – but he still tries to follow his feelings rather than deny them.
So who or what killed Lydia Lee ? The system ? Racism ? Fear ? Conformity? Something else, or all of the above ? I leave that to my fellow book clubbers to debate.
Joe Brannan's Blog 
I didn’t like this to begin with as I thought it might be a bit slow. But 30 or so pages in I really started to enjoy it. It’s a very simple story but so well written you just begin to enjoy the telling of it.
She builds a really vivid picture of a family and their past, and the complexities of their relationships – how the death of one sibling affects them all individually and then also as a whole. She’s got a brilliant turn of phrase to describe even the most simple things, and every metaphor she uses you think to yourself ‘yeah that’s exactly what it’s like.’
I don’t have siblings but I think for people who do it might be even more powerful a book.
The themes around female empowerment and race I thought were well developed and offered an interesting insight into real issues which society still hasn’t overcome – making it relevant to us now.
If I had a critique it would be the mystery of her death could have been made a little more complex. More characters could have been introduced to keep you guessing who the perpetrator might be. But I guess none of that happens in order to make you focus on the emotional journey the family is on.
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My thoughts as developed so far after finishing the book…
I enjoyed the read, think it was well written and kept me turning the pages. I liked the mix between the history and present and felt connected to the characters. The ending a slight twist on what would have otherwise been an obvious ending.
I agree with several points here regarding the gaps in the story however
As you say, all these characters are alive at a time when there were the beginnings of well publicised civil rights movements however this was not something referenced in the book nor demonstrated by any of the characters. I wonder whether the author didn’t want to overburden the story? Regardless it seems odd that neither generation challenged any of the racism they experienced and the idea that they were all handicapped in every way (friends, opportunity, happiness) by race seems a little simplistic…
I thought James’ obsession with fitting in and inability to do so and his assumption being it was mainly because of his heritage was draining on the story, and for the character to be portrayed as so entirely lacking in self esteem to assert that after 18 years marriage his wife’s anger is little more than admitting the ridiculous rightness of her mothers suggestion that she should have married someone else (after he had an affair) is a bit lazy, would he really be that lacking in self esteem that despite (on his part at least) he has been in a long happy marriage …
Additionally, like you mention, James, Marilyn, Nath and Lydia are all intelligent, achieving individuals and yet they do not challenge each other – even in anger – until after the tragedy of Lydia – not sure that aligns with a child willing to rebel for months by hanging out with the school Lothario or realistic as story
The fact that the Lee family reduce themselves and others to single characteristics, either race or family role also jars. Marilyn’s preoccupation with not turning in to her mother, who she has reduced to being a silly woman keeping up appearances, despite her bringing up Marilyn on her own, working and keeping everything going at home. James reducing Marilyn to ‘housewife’, despite his particularly weak patriarchal role, and Marilyn a seemingly ambitious woman – this Marilyn far from the young woman who persevered in those science classes …
The addition of Jack being in love with Nath (despite what seems to be only a couple of interactions in their lifetime…) seems like an unnecessary addition to the book, especially as it is only added at the end of the book means it’s unexplored
Finally whilst symbolically the new life, water rebirth analogy was clever, after having been pushed in to the water and almost drowned as a child, would a young adult knowing they cannot swim believe they could survive that challenge…
A few ideas not fully explored and opportunity to explore these missed but overall a good read
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I really enjoyed this book – I have found it so difficult to finish anything for so long – but this book kept me engaged until the last page. For me the appeal of this book is the timeframe – which is somewhat close to the time we spent as emigres in Edmonton– so this is familiar – and many of the issues explored within the context of this family are topical – so many facets of diversity and discrimination – and so many ways of not fitting in – having been displaced so many times I understand that. I understand being isolated as a family and struggling with inventing family life. I like this exploration of the family under stress – conflicting ideals and failed communications and fatal flaws, quite suspenseful…somehow I have managed to miss the point – of addressing the death – so many smoking guns in North America!
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A couple of posts have noted that the sub-plot involving Jack seems a bit under developed. I agree, and it makes me wonder if the writer was in two minds about whether a more straightforward account of Lydia’s tragedy would have kept our attention. But you could argue that in adding only one plausible perpetrator she fell between two stools. A ‘whodunnit’ with only one suspect is a contradiction in terms. If someone were making this into a film I suspect that the Jack role would be developed to make him look a more likely killer and, as James suggests, some other plausible candidate murderers introduced. The alternative would be to turn it into a psychological study of Lydia’s disintegration.
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I finished reading this book a couple of weeks ago and to be honest, unlike others, didn’t find it particularly engaging. When I read a book I like to care about either the characters or the plot and I’m afraid found both lacking.
I feel the author could have ‘set the scene’ a lot better with the issues relating to discrimination. The issue of James being ashamed of his parents could have been explored more, and the issues relating to the rarity of a mixed marriage in the 1970’s could have been expanded upon – the feelings of isolation, being ‘different’, lack of friends etc. This may have helped the reader better understand how Marilyn and James evolved as people and in turn as parents.
At no time did I suspect that Lydia’s death was due to murder. It became obvious that Lydia was really struggling with not meeting her mother’s expectations added to which was the imminent departure of her brother – all too overwhelming for her. I really disliked how selfish her mother was; abandoning her family, push push pushing her daughter and how her father was very lacking in understanding or support – a very weak man.
The book did portray how responsible we are as parents and we probably all know parents who have tried to live their lives through their children (on the sports field, career choice etc). I would have liked more development of Jack’s character and what about poor little Hannah?
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Jeanette – yes – Hannah – put upstairs in an attic bedroom with the other things nobody wanted! I think that really emphasizes the lack of care and responsibility – I wonder if the lightness of some of these relationships and the competitive intensity of others in this family reflects the time period ( following the brutality of war – more brutality) – they are sort of crude and not very evolved – we care about these issues so much more now …. Suzy and I discussed the little twist with the mother as the dreaded “Dragon Mom” – may be all of the characters were flailing around – drowning…..
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Everything I Never Told You – Final Thoughts
Several of you have now commented on the book – either on the blog or in personal chats. I thought it was worth trying to sum up our feelings about it and to identify its strong and weak points.
There is general agreement that the attempt to make a mystery out of Lydia’s death was not very successful. Since there was really only one plausible villain, it seemed evident pretty early in the story that Lydia probably took her own life. So the single red herring only detracted from the investigation of family tension that led to the tragedy.
As for the characters, both parents were viewed unsympathetically. James was weak and Marilyn was obsessed by living out her dreams through her daughter. There is nothing inherently wrong about having characters who are not particularly admirable in works of fiction – but that must be compensated elsewhere. The author must interest you in the fate of at least one character to keep you reading. In this book that could only mean the children.
My sense from the discussions is that our readers were more annoyed at the parents than they were interested in the children. Of course we feel sorry for Lydia but there seems to be a feeling that she was not well enough imagined to fully capture our sympathy.
Neither did Nathan seem to inspire many of us. Although he had a tough time of it – the indifferent parents; the casual bigotry he had to endure – his obsession with escaping the family was hardly heroic.
Hannah was the one who elicited the most sympathy. Her quiet stoicism in the face of family chaos and her parents lack of interest in her was admired my many of us. Perhaps the story would have been better told through her eyes?
Nevertheless we did find many good things about the book. For starters, it deals with big issues; how do you survive in a society where you are a second class citizen, or socially excluded? Although the specific issue here is the Chinese-American experience, this will strike a cord with anyone who has ever felt rejected, be it for reasons of colour, race, gender, appearance, aptitude..you name it.
The impact of parents on their children also resonated with many of us. You don’t have to go as far as Philip Larkin..’they fuck you up your mum and dad’.. to appreciate that parents often fail to understand their children and burden them with unrealistic expectations. The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions. Lydia is a poignant reminder of this.
We didn’t delve much into Ng’s writing style, or how she put the story together. One or two of you mentioned her brilliant metaphors and I found many phrases that resonated for days in my mind. The simile that Ng uses to emphasise Marilyn’s isolation from the world of the intellect – her thoughts pinging off the kitchen windows like so many frantic bees trying to get out – is perfect. Her use of symbols is equally original – I particularly liked the marks on the walls, be they Marilyn’s toe-print on the wet paint, or the kids botched cover-up of the squashed spider. When Hannah finally points out the latter mark to her father it is eloquently symbolic of the family reconciliation.
The way Ng put the book together is also worth a few words. The book jumps back and forth in time – starting as we have already noted, near the end with Lydia’s death. The author could have done this for a variety of reasons. But it left me with the feeling that she is trying to emphasise the importance of our histories. We are more than just individuals, we are parts of lineages. And these lineages constrain us in ways we scarcely realise. By putting the death at the start it almost felt to me that Ng was implying that Lydia’s death was pre-destined..but that is going too far.
Finally I was intrigued as to why Ng chose an omnipotent ‘observer’ as the narrator. Such a claustrophobic family story was crying out to be written from the point of view of one of the Lees. Ng’s choice has some interesting consequences of which I will mention just one. We know, because the narrator tells us, what really happened to Lydia. But Marilyn can never know that there was not someone else in that boat. Could she then really ever have accepted the official explanation…or would she go to her own grave wondering?
….as I also wondered, since the story is not told by any of the characters, who is the ‘I’ in the title?
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Thanks Joe – I enjoyed the book and I am so happy that you have got me reading again!
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